Wisdom Calls for a Shift

I’ve seen dozens of my friends get married in the past years, and I’ve subconsciously discovered something that I would consciously like to share with you now.

When one of my friends is about to get married, I’ve discovered that wisdom calls for a shift. If in the past, the groom was more of a closer friend to me than the bride, things naturally shift for me because now the bride will be my friend more than the groom. Even if I don’t know her that well or if we’re not that close, even if both the bride and the groom are my friends, wisdom calls for a shift.

Seeing my friends get married is always a privilege, and I love being part of their journey—whether it’s through a bridal shower, a developing friendship, or their experiences after the wedding, but as a single woman who has married friends, I have to be careful to protect my friends’ marriages and know my place in any friendship.

Through the course of their engagement and of course during their married life, my primary contact with the bride and groom becomes the bride, my primary friend is the bride, and my confidante (if I need to choose between the two of them) is the bride. It’s not that I’ll never talk to the groom, but there’s just a natural and appropriate shift that allows the bride and groom to flourish among themselves and allows me to enjoy my growing friendship with the bride. And that’s just right.

Marriage seems challenging as it is—and there’s no reason for anyone else to unintentionally stick her foot in the door. I’ve gained many new friends who became the brides of good friends, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know each one of them. I’ve also met the wives of the men I’ve had to work with, and when anything personal comes up, I’ve learned to talk to the wives, not the men.

If wisdom calls for a shift, let’s shift with it, celebrating the life and blessings God has given us, and honoring Him with what we do and who we are.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise . . . - Ephesians 5:15

Forty Years Ago . . .

On April 7, 1972, my dad and mom got married. I’ve decided to go down memory lane and share with you an excerpt of what I’m giving them for their anniversary—our Top 40 Family Moments. Our family is not perfect but God is so faithful!  

1.     How Papa and Mama met—The stories about the handkerchief, interview and list of requirements are classics in our family.

2.     Their wedding reception at the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai. Papa was wondering why his three kids didn’t show up. Now he wants to have another reception just for our family.

3.     Their firstborn

4.     Their second son

5.     Their only daughter

6.     Memories of the Paco house, memories of Baguio trips (tea and boiled eggs for the road, picture or real, counting cows, champuy, Park Hotel, corn soup, Burnham park) and Mama’s trip with the kids to India (my chin, ouch!)

7.     Growing up with our neighbors in our Valle 1 house and Bhaoo’s maasti with the neighbors; getting locked up in Green Valley and memories Valle Verde Country Club (swimming, tennis, barbecue, iced tea), racing with Nato and Greg to La Salle and then having lunch sent to school every day; Big Daddy and Big Mummy; our cousins (Bhaoo’s maasti with Priya, Aarti, Gopal, and especially Govind)

8.     Mama’s trip to India with Bhaya and me, and then Hong Kong with us kids (overweight bags, trains, buses, not having enough money to pay for a cab to get back to the hotel, buying Tags, Cole Haans and Giordano stuff)

9.     The weddings (two) and the grandchildren (four)

10. Trips to America, India, Hong Kong, Singapore and stints in America

I love my family and I see God’s faithfulness over us every single day :-) 

And there are lots more memories to make. The best is yet to come!

Happy anniversary, Papa and Mama! I love you :-)