Fathers Make All the Difference

Papa has made such a difference in my life. His concern for each child is consistent. He still texts me if he knows it's late at night and I'm still not home. He works hard and does his very, very best to provide for us.

My family (1981). My brothers look like they want to get into a fight.

Growing up, he prioritized taking us on family vacations to Baguio, and he has taken us kids on individual trips. We would go up to Baguio with our snacks of boiled eggs and bread, tea in the thermos, because there were no Select stores or restaurants on NLEX yet. We would stay at Park Hotel and he would watch us play in Burnham Park from the hotel balcony. We would have corn soup in the Chinese restaurant at night, and sleep on the softest pillows I can remember. He would tell us that we would remember these memories and fun times together, and he's right. 

One of my favorite times with Papa was our trip to the US in 1995. I was 15, and it was my first time to go to New York, Washington DC, Miami, Orlando, and LA. He planned everything out, from the Broadway play to Christmas in Disneyland. He even let me persuade him into renting a limo for us in New York, after we watched Phantom, only for me to fall asleep in the limo!

In 1997, we went to India and he took me around Bombay (Mumbai), showing me where he went to school, where they used to live, where he learned to smoke (yikes!), and where he would go when he cut classes.

Nashville with Papa (2011). Lots of LOVE at the Loveless Cafe.

When I was in college, we would celebrate every "A" with a treat. When I was in Nashville, he would always call and check on me. He came to visit me and we had a good time in New York too. Through many, many ups and downs in our family, I've always appreciated the stability he brings in my life. As much as I appreciate my mom, brothers, the rest of our family, my friends, and my mentors, there are times when the only person I really want to talk to is my dad, and then I know I'll be fine. He's almost like my Jethro--he knows what to say, he brings a different perspective into the situation, and he challenges me to do the hard things.

Because he spends time with me and expresses his love often, I know I'm secure and therefore have high standards for myself and of the person I want to marry.

Because of how he protects and cares, I know I don't have to look for it outside the family.

And because of God's faithfulness in our lives, I know the best is yet to come.

Happy Father's Day, Pa! I love you!

Lessons from the Book of Ruth

Around four months ago when I began my transition from Nashville back to Manila, Pastor Bruce Fidler shared with me how he thought of the book of Ruth while praying for me. I've read that book several times since then, but more so in the last few days. Here are some of my lessons from the book, after having read it, studied it, and to a certain extent, seen it in my own life:

Responsibility
Naomi seemed like a victim of her situation because she lost her husband and sons, but she seemingly forgot that she and her family had chosen to leave the Promised Land because of a famine ten years ago. She seemingly forgot that they had disobeyed God. When you sin, choose to turn back to God. Sometimes we hide behind the idea that we are victims, but taking responsibility and walking in faith is always better.

Ruth, on the other hand, was a hard worker and very responsible. She did not choose to be a widow either, but she did choose to stay with her mother-in-law, to go out in the field and work. Even the people who worked for Boaz knew how hard she worked. I don't know how long the barley and wheat harvests take, but everyday during harvest, Ruth kept working faithfully. In the end, Naomi's friends said Ruth was the equivalent of seven sons to Naomi! Boaz was also responsible and he took action. He knew his people and he had noble character. That's why Ruth is remembered, not Orpah; Boaz, not the first kinsman-redeemer.

 Providence
Though things turned from bad to worse before they got better, the Lord's hand was upon everything that happened. I love how Ruth 2:3 (NIV) says: "As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz . . ." The HCSB version says: "She happened to be in the portion of land belonging to Boaz . . ." This seems totally random, but it was actually providential. As it turned out, God brought her to where she was really supposed to be. As it turned out, God used Ruth, a Moabite, to become the great-grandmother of King David. As it turned out, Ruth is mentioned in Christ's genealogy, one of only five women in Matthew 1:1-16.

Blessings & Relationships
The book of Ruth is full of blessings. Amidst the famine, deaths, and hopelessness, Naomi blessed Ruth and Orpah. Boaz blessed his workers, Boaz blessed Ruth, Naomi blessed Boaz, and the elders blessed Boaz and his family. This is one of the things I love about Jewish culture, and how God taught His people to bless those around them. I hope I do this more often!

"Chesed" is a new Hebrew word I've learnt from my HCSB Study Bible. It's used several times in the book, but each time it's used, when it's translated in the English language, different words are used to describe it--lovingkindness, faithful love, blessing, and kindness. The Study Bible says "chesed" is "a covenantal term that combines love and faithfulness, mercy and grace--all the positive aspects of committed relationship." As I've meditated on this, I've seen you can pray it over your relationships, asking God to bring everything good for the people you love, and to bless your relationships. What a great word to pray and bless people with!

Redemption 
Boaz was actually the answer to his own prayer for Ruth, when he said: "May the Lord reward you for what you have done, and may you receive a full reward from the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge" (Ruth 2:13, HCSB). Even though she was a foreigner, her kinsman-redeemer protected and provided for her. Christ is our ultimate Kinsman-Redeemer, and He has delivered us from sin, protects us, and provides for us.

I am amazed at how the book of Ruth simply tells a story, and it's so easy to miss God's hand in it, every step of the way. And when you're still on the journey, you may not completely understand why you lost what you loved, why you need to leave Moab, why you have to glean in the fields, or why you have to go to threshing floor (which is the part in the story I still don't understand), but in the end, you will see that God will use all of that to bless the generations that will come after you and to bring about His divine and eternal purpose in your life.

Feeling Inadequate?

Do you ever get so nervous with this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have to face something daunting? Like getting up to speak in front of many people, finding the courage to apologize for what you did, or entering a new environment where you don't know anyone?

For the past few days, I have been feeling inadequate. As I work on my thesis proposal and try to finish my Master's degree, as I think of the classes I will be teaching this coming semester, as I volunteer in new areas of ministry, as I do things I haven't ever done, as I ask God to work in me in new and greater ways, I admit I feel inadequate. But I don't think that's a bad place to start.

Feeling inadequate can be pretty normal, I think. I'm sure even presidents and CEOs feel this, wondering why they were chosen to lead or how this ship is going to turn. I believe it's what you do once you realize you can't do this on your own that really matters. Here's what I have found myself doing when I feel inadequate:

Pray! Admit to God that you really can't do it without Him. And ask for His grace, strength, mercy, and wisdom. Remind yourself that this is really not about you.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9,10

Ask people to help you and pray with you. When I didn't think I had the strength, energy, or motivation to work on the second draft of my thesis proposal last Saturday, I asked my mom to pray for me. I told her what I felt, and she encouraged me and made me tea. That always helps! Then there are times when you just need to admit your weakness or something that can get you off-track, "call a friend" and let them know what you are really going through. Humble yourself and ask for help.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24

Make the hard choices. Watch a movie or do your thesis proposal? Sleep or prepare for your next big project? Watch TV or write? Facebook or spend time with your family? You know what you need to do, so make the hard choices and go for what is wise. Besides, if you don't choose what's right and hard and wise, you may just look back years from now and see that you are still where you started off. And that's just sad.


The feeling of inadequacy may not completely go away but by the grace of God, you will move forward and do what you need to do. Feelings are just feelings anyway!


My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

Believing in Young People

I was 14 when I became a Christian, and served God as a high school and college student. I was involved in church, campus orgs, and everything regular students do. After graduation, I continued to be involved in youth ministry by leading a small group and helping young women know God and walk with Him every day. We've navigated through personal, family, financial, and spiritual concerns and together we've looked to and held on to God's promises in His Word. I've seen many of these young women graduate from high school and even college.

Even with all the changes in my own life in the last few years, though, I always keep going back to serving in the youth ministry, whether I am in Nashville or Manila, Ortigas or Fort Bonifacio, Ateneo or La Salle. I guess it's because people believed in my generation so many years ago, invested in our lives, and helped us grow. I can't help but believe in young people as well, knowing that God has a plan for them and also knowing that the enemy will try to not let that come to pass.

After attending the Ignite conference last week, my passion to see young people serving God is now even stronger. As a small group leader, a university-level teacher, and as someone who got saved as a teenager, I know that God has a great purpose for each young person, and I want to do my part in serving the next generation.

Towards the end of the Ignite conference, Joe Bonifacio reminded the students that they will not always be "the next generation," and that it will be important to pass the baton to those who will come after. I remember when I was the youngest in our small group, the youngest in the ushering ministry, the youngest in so many things. Time does fly and it's really not about how good our generation has been, but whether we have been able to train those who have come after us. And by God's grace, each generation will go from glory to glory, and will do mighty exploits, more than what the previous generation was able to do. 

And yes, even if the young people add "po" in their sentences when they talk to me now, as a sign of respect because I'm older than them, I will not let my age deter me from mentoring, coaching, training, and believing in them. Young people need people they can talk to, exchange ideas with, and people who will just be there for them and point them in the right direction. And for those who are willing, God will help us see the fruit of our labor and the return of our investments, whether that's weekly prioritizing meeting with them, taking time to talk even when it's convenient, and keeping up with their energy level even though you don't have as much left in you.

I believe God is truly raising a new generation of those whose hearts are sold out to Him, and I count it a privilege to be part of this!